Holding Off

I want to be transparent about the anger I feel and the emotions that come with it. But I also don’t want to step outside of my values in the process. Sometimes when I’m mad, I catch myself saying things that are shaped by my pain…things that reflect how someone feels to me in this moment, not necessarily who they are as a whole person. My perspective might be real, but it’s still just that — a perspective.

I don’t like shit-talking. I don’t like bending someone’s image. I know my experience with a person doesn’t define their entire being, and I don’t want my words to pretend that it does. So for now, I think I need to hold off on expressing this anger until I can do it in a way that feels true and kind. Not kind in a way that silences me, but kind in a way that lets me stay aligned with who I want to be.

Author’s Note:

This piece came from recognizing the tension between honesty and integrity. Wanting to give my emotions a voice without letting them twist into something that betrays my values. Sometimes the most honest thing I can do is admit that I’m not ready to speak yet.