Poems

I’m so small in here. It’s dark. I can’t see. All these big feelings swirl around me. I cry, I scream, I beg, I plead. I’m trying so hard to be heard, but I’m trapped down by your feet. Why can’t you hear me? Why can’t you help? Why won’t you reach down and pick me up from this deep place? I’m tiny. I’m scared. I’m coming apart. I need you to see me so you can save your heart. Sometimes you feel me, but you push me away. So I hide and wait for a safer day, a moment to reach a

I see you staring into the distance, trying to form thoughts. I see you trying your hardest to process and tell the world your part. But you see, dear— when I am here, I hold all there is to know. And I keep you from reaching the things that give your mind its flow. I know you want this box back, but you can’t have it right now. You’re too overwhelmed, too disheveled, for me to allow that right now. And I know you’re frustrated that I think I know what is best. But I’ve been

Oh this boy, when will he learn? He needs me to watch for him at every turn. He’s talking and laughing, having a good time… I need to remind him of all that people hide. You’re useless. You’re pathetic. You’re weak. You’re someone no one hears, no matter how loud you speak. You didn’t deserve care then. You don’t deserve care now. Stop letting your heart slip out of your mouth. Stop trusting these people, they will only hurt you. Stop believing anyone could ever love you. Sto

Blink He’s here Blink He’s gone Blink Blink Blink The world has shifted His view has changed He can no longer see the same Blinking Shifting Not knowing your own memory Blinking Turning My heart is burning Burning trying to get through the day Burning trying to find a new way To remember To start To not tear things apart To know this perspective is here but know a new one is near What will stay? What will go away? How do I stay connected to me? How do I keep remembering how t

I hate the arbitration of rules that aren’t solely arbitrary. I struggle with the grief that fills the back of my throat and makes it sting. Tears welling up in my eyes as I try to find the words to put to the feelings swelling inside of me. I can feel the cool tears sliding down my cheek and dropping onto my shirt. Missing you comes with shame, shame for the way I feel, shame for the way I still hurt this far from saying goodbye. There’s something beautiful about loving beyo

I Still Miss You Most of All In moments like these, I cry. I grieve. Your absence from my life— memories of our laughter, surrounded by plants. Love pressed into the corners of my heart. You once gave me what I needed most: space to talk, a place to cry, a shoulder to lean on, a place to try. Try to learn better. Try to grow. Try to hold these memories close. My heart aches, and the tears fall. I still miss you most of all. Author’s Note: I wrote this poem many months ago, bu