If Joy Is Fleeting, Does That Make It Less Meaningful or More Sacred?

I logically think that because joy is fleeting, it’s more sacred.

It feels good to have joy, and if you can really immerse yourself in that feeling, in that experience, and be present with it, you can get so much out of it before it leaves.

But I think it’s a lot more complex than that simple, logical answer, especially for people who have trauma backgrounds.

For instance, my body and mind make it very difficult sometimes to be fully present in joyful experiences because I’m too busy fearing the absence of them.

It takes me an extremely long time of having consistent experiences of joy to believe it’ll be a pattern I can come back to, instead of something that will leave.

And it’s taken me a lot of hard lessons to learn that I really can fuck up the experience by letting fear shape my reality…my reactions, the way I listen, the way I show up, my thoughts.

Luckily, being with my wife for fifteen years has given me a pretty secure relationship where I can enjoy her company without fear of her leaving… at least 95% of the time. But I still have moments where panic rises up and I fear being abandoned.

My very first therapy experience was infused with that same fear.

It stopped me from being able to experience the totality of what that relationship had to offer me in the moment.

But I’m grateful I have the capacity now to reflect, to understand and to experience it after the fact, in a way.

So that’s my answer:

Joy is fleeting, but that’s exactly what makes it sacred.

And maybe learning to hold it gently…without trying to keep it is one of the most profound lessons of healing.

Author’s Note:

I wanted to reflect while experiencing happiness, so I looked up a reflection question to stir my mind.

Also, I’m not a huge fan of the word sacred anymore, but I couldn’t really think of a word that showed as much significance as sacred.