I Think I’m Going to Stop Testing the Universe

I think I’m done shouting at the universe. Last time I did that, I made a whole post about getting shingles, and apparently the universe took it as a personal challenge.

Because today I found out it’s not just one nerve dermatome, it’s two. Two. Like my shingles heard me complaining and said, “Bet.”

The pain makes everything feel like it’s buzzing, and with the congestion stacked on top of it, I’m basically one irritated nerve-ending in human form. I’m frustrated about… honestly, everything. There’s a lot I could be angry about, but my brain is so fried I can’t even get to the anger. It’s like all the emotions are behind a locked door and I’m too tired to jiggle the handle.

I’ve got therapy today and I’m pretty sure she’s going to end up meeting with 2-cell Christian. My head feels like a static-filled TV. No real thoughts, just noise. Honestly, kinda having the thoughts of wanting to quit therapy all together. Idk man, it just doesn’t feel like it used to. I’m angry at the profession at a whole tbh and I don’t trust any of them. I think I’ll stop here because everything after this will not be kind or productive. That’s what’s going on for me. I’m sick and angry.