I Woke Up Like This

This whole day has been good. I don’t know if you can feel the weight of that sentence but I need you to. I need you to understand that this is rare for me.

And I can just hear the therapist question: “What was different about today than the other days?”

Ma’am, I don’t know. I woke up like this. I drank a peppermint bark coffee? Are you telling me I can ditch the mental health meds for peppermint bark coffee? That will solve all my problems? This whole time? lol

That line, I woke up like this, makes me chuckle a little. I have this memory of saying it while working with (L), and her immediately breaking into song and me thinking, this is my kind of person. The ADHD mix of lyrics and speech is honestly my favorite thing.

On a real note, I literally can’t answer that question. It’s like things just didn’t hit me the way they normally do, but not in a numb kind of way. It’s different. It’s like things just rolled off my back where usually I’d be deeply affected by shifts in tone, facial expressions, energy changes… all of it.

Ahh.

You know… maybe that’s it? I didn’t have to interact with many people today. But even that doesn’t fully explain it, because I’ve had plenty of days alone that didn’t feel like this.

I don’t have answers.

But I do have the experience of a good day.