Anger

I honestly don’t like this part of me.

The part that gets angry. That lets myself feel affected by another person.

I catch myself asking … did you really think you deserved better?

That’s laughable.

But the truth is, I do want better, not just for me, but for all queer people. For all marginalized communities.

Because I think more harm comes from the ones who claim allyship without fulfilling that label than from the ones who are openly against it.

At least with them, you know what to expect.

There’s something uniquely painful about people who position themselves as “safe” yet end up causing the very harm they say they stand against.

It’s disorienting. You start to question your own perception. You wonder if you’re asking too much or expecting too much when really, all you wanted was consistency. Integrity. A sense that their actions matched their words.

Sometimes I wish I could stop caring. Stop being affected. Stop letting it get to me. But I know if I stop caring, if I stop being affected… I stop standing up for myself and for others… and I don’t want to be that kind of person.

I just need to learn how to channel my anger into something useful instead of bitterness and hurt.