Healing and Hurt

The Conflict It’s a strange thing — to want to hold someone accountable for the harm they caused and to feel guilty for it at the same time. It reminds me of when I first started unlayering the abuse I went through — how even then, I felt guilty for looking at it. For seeing it. For calling it what it was. That guilt still lives somewhere deep in my bones. Logically, I know it doesn’t belong to me. I know it’s not mine to carry. But knowing something and feeling it are never

When I look back on therapy before it ended, I can’t deny there was good. I learned what regulation could feel like — not in theory, but...

When Trust is Torn There was a time when I thought maybe I was starting to feel tethered to something safe. Not safety itself — I’ve...

The way things ended — how the shame was written in professional language, how it was done in a way that sounded measured and polite, but...

The kind of ending that doesn’t close a chapter — it rewrites the whole book. The Shock I still remember the way the air changed the moment I saw her name in my inbox. No preparation. No warning. Just a few lines that split me open. There are certain moments that don’t just happen — they rearrange you. Her email did that. One moment I had a tether, and the next, it was gone. I didn’t even know a few sentences could do that — make the room tilt, make your own name sound foreig